the deer are beautiful, aren’t they

sparkling snow fell. i fell
into winter, wondering—

(language comes easily
with you) i wish we were
in love. we would have it all,
wet and frigid seeping
through my toes—
i cannot feel

my fingers (feel them for me)
& see how bright the world is,
how empty the expanse is—

my mind is an endless
axis of unformed points &
more dopamine connects it.
nothing corrects it;straight
into bloodstream, cross
barrier to brain.

all the neurons in the world
couldn’t make sensation
return.

but the deer are beautiful, aren’t they,
scurrying at the softest sounds though
so much snow pads the ground.

with you i built a
crevice, held us at a
plateau in between
and i am staring off its edge.